


maybe it's in my DNA

by neradia3



Category: Roswell New Mexico (TV 2019)
Genre: Fix-it fic, Gen, Mental Illness (mentioned), Rosabel bonding time, Trauma (mentioned), episode 2x07, in pod we trust
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-05-12
Updated: 2020-05-12
Packaged: 2021-03-02 21:14:39
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,366
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/24153391
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/neradia3/pseuds/neradia3
Summary: Broken, but broken together... Rosa just might be Isobel's missing piece. And Isobel might be Rosa's.orRosa doesn't leave Isobel at the Crashdown sign.
Relationships: Rosa Ortecho & Isobel Evans
Comments: 8
Kudos: 13





	maybe it's in my DNA

Their masterpieces are behind them-- _IN Pod WE TRUST_ and a giant black circle, which Isobel says is a black hole, an unstoppable force of destruction, a girl looking down to her own doom, but one that's preventable--as they sit on the wood platform behind the sign of the Crashdown Café. It's like the "old times," back in high school, when Isobel would come up and sit with Rosa, but Isobel knows that it was Noah then. She shivers. What Rosa told her makes her shiver. Is she really broken? Is that why Noah went after her, chose her like he chose Rosa?

Silence grows between them as time passes, and Isobel is starting to hate it. It makes her overthink, this silence. Instead of others' voices coming from their mouths, she's hearing her own in her head as she questions everything. _Everything_. 

Isobel looks up towards the stars, admiring them for a moment. She doesn't want the silence to last any longer, so she finally speaks, "What makes you think that he chose me? I'm not..."

"You're not what, Isobel? Broken?" Rosa shakes her head. "He took over your body, manipulated you. He was able to do that because you're broken."

"Don't, Rosa. Just don't, okay?" Isobel snaps, gripping tightly onto the edge of the platform, her knuckles white. "I don't need a reminder of what he did." She doesn't. Hell, after using the antidote to force herself to remember, those memories are still foggy. Or maybe that's her trying her best to forget. She must be doing a pretty good job, packing it all in the back of her head to burn with everything else she wants to forget, that she wants to stow it away in boxes wrapped in bows. 

"It's not just you. It's me too. I don't know what that feels like, but whatever happened killed me... literally," Rosa tells her, a light chuckle leaving her lips. Fighting Isobel isn't going to get her anywhere. She knows that. She sets her hand on Isobel's knee in a way to calm her instead, maybe even comfort her. 

Isobel freezes, glancing down at Rosa's hand on her knee. She didn't expect that, Rosa being so open about physical contact with her, especially after Isobel killed her--or Noah using her body to kill her--and knocked her out with a thesaurus to get into her head. She shudders, and can't find the courage to place her hand on top of Rosa's even though she wants to. 

Rosa clears her throat, the cold making it dry. "Just know that you're not alone, Isobel. I mean, I'm here if you want to talk about it. You probably never got the chance to, not with everything else going on."

"I don't know if that's such a good idea," Isobel mutters.

"I think it may actually do more harm than good if you don't talk about it. It's always good to talk about these things, especially with someone who was there when it was happening."

"You mean, you."

"I mean, me."

Isobel scoffs and shakes her head. Rosa's right. She was on the receiving end of everything, the off and on of their friendship, the on obviously being when Noah would take over. Then Rosa finding out that it wasn't Isobel at all, but a man that had fallen in love with her and manipulated and violated someone else to get to her. Even though it seems like this didn't affect Rosa as much as it did Isobel, Rosa still died because of Noah. Rosa's been through hell and back, literally. Of course she of all people will understand. So, maybe it is a good idea. Maybe it can repair things between her and Rosa. If it needs to be repaired at all. Isobel still has her doubts. 

"Fine," Isobel sighs. She still keeps a wall up sometimes. But maybe it's time it's brought down. Slowly. "The blackouts started when I was fourteen, after I was attacked by a drifter in the desert while Michael, Max, and I were out camping. As a kid, I didn't really understand what was happening, that I was losing time, that there were moments that just disappeared, like my memories were wiped clean." She finally, but hesitantly, places her hand on top of Rosa's and squeezes it. Rosa squeezes back, and Isobel wonders if she did that out of reassurance. 

"Max and Michael didn't really suspect something was off until our senior year. My personalities were constantly shifting. One minute I didn't want to go to prom, the next I was in Markham's office influencing her to change her mind about banning me from extracurriculars." She pauses. "I'm sorry you had to deal with that first-hand. If I knew what was happening--"

"Isobel, none of this was your fault, you know that right? You had no control over it. You had no idea what was going on when Noah..." Rosa exhales. "He did things to you that are unforgivable. Never, never blame it on yourself."

Isobel looks at Rosa before scooting a bit closer to her, and changes the subject. "What you said about it being in your DNA... maybe it's in my DNA, why I have to deal with the traumatic repercussions and Max is fine. He's okay, left without any scars after he killed a man. But it's kinda hard to know what's in your DNA and what isn't when you don't know where you're from, who your real parents are."

"I feel that way sometimes about Liz. She's my mom's daughter too, but despite it all, she's... perfect. I hate to say it. I can't help but feel jealous of her. Why me? Why can't I be perfect too?" 

"It's impossible to be perfect," Isobel states. "Even high school Isobel wasn't perfect."

Rosa laughs and playfully shoves Isobel. "High school Isobel definitely believed she was perfect." 

Isobel opens her mouth to protest, but closes it. High school Isobel did believe she was perfect, too perfect to be friends with someone like Rosa Ortecho. Someone like Rosa Ortecho? What does that even mean? "Yeah. You're right. High school Isobel was too much of a bitch to pull her head out of her ass. Practically obsessed with herself. I'm kind of surprised that you wanted to be friends with me. Or at least tried to be. But yet again, that wasn't me. That was someone else." There's a bad taste in her mouth now, makes her feel sick. She sometimes still can't believe what Noah did to her. He was so good to her. _Was_. 

"We are friends now, right? Yeah, we didn't have that great of a past, but we're not biting each other's heads off," Rosa says, gazing up at the stars. It isn't too cloudy so they are a bit easier to see. Isobel's former home may be up there. It also may be too far away to see it. 

"I mean, that's one way to put it, I guess." Isobel shrugs.

Rosa smiles, and silence hits them again. Rosa may be waiting for Isobel to say something, and Isobel knows she's waiting for Rosa, but perhaps Rosa doesn't have anything to say. Or she just wants to enjoy the silence while it lasts. 

It's usually never quiet for Rosa, Isobel being aware of that when Rosa told her about the voices in her head as they were cleaning up Chili Cherry Blast Milkshake off Max's tile floor. She remembers Rosa telling her how Arturo would let her paint on the walls, ruin anything she wanted if it made her smile. Just thinking about it makes Isobel smile too. 

Maybe having someone around who understands what she's going through, like Isobel, is helping her. Knowing Rosa, she probably isn't going to acknowledge that right away. But Isobel realizes that having Rosa here is helping her too. Is she going to say something about it? No. Later? Maybe. 

So, they stay and embrace each other's silence until Rosa mutters a "thank you" and rests her head on Isobel's shoulder. It takes Isobel by surprise, but she doesn't hesitate to pull Rosa close and whisper back "no problem."


End file.
